Can a woman today do it all?

I was invited to attend a luncheon for women television anchors and sports casters.  Upon entering the home, each of us was cordial and professional. We smiled and made eye contact as we shook hands upon meeting and greeting.  Lunch was benign and friendly with superficial conversations mostly highlighting travel opportunities. However, the mood of the women changed as we changed locations from the tables to the living room. A woman who was a formed daily radio host was asked to share on the changes in her career. As she shared, the gal used the word “fear” often like “I was fearful to make a change” and “fear set in when thinking of no salary.” By the end of her discussion, two third of the women were crying. There was a common denominator with the women who were emotionally distraught though; I would say that they were all under 35.

 

Can a woman do it all today? Well, I am in my mid 40s and I can now say yes but I have a much different definition of “all.” I can perform “all” I need to if I make the time and prioritize appropriately. But when I was in my mid 30s with three young children, I needed to adjust my priorities to do as much as I could and not have guilt associated with my family dynamics. I learned early on that prayer was a key factor to get me through the day. God is a great listener when I needed to vent and He does not correct you when asking for help. Getting God involved is not like adding one more person or thing to do. It is more like subtracting myself as the only caregiver and rescuer to do it all

I remember the day I was driving my children home from school.  Robby was in Kindergarten. Emilee was a preschooler and Ellie was about 4 months.  Robby and Emilee stated kicking, fighting and yelling at each other in the very back seat of the minivan. At that moment, the baby started crying. Suddenly feeling desperate and overwhelmed, I prayed out loud while clutching the steering wheel, “Lord, I am about to head home and I have three children who outnumber me. I do not have the extra energy or strength I need to make it all these hours until their bedtime so please help me.” Right then, I heard Robby say to Emilee, “Hey, Em, we better knock it off. Mom just got God involved.”

The reality is that no one can do it all. We are not created to walk through walls or be in two places as once. We also do not have the power to change anyone else as most of us have trouble breaking our own bad habits.

I have heard it said, “Blessed are the flexible for they will not be broken.” Any new thing causes us to shift from our daily routine to accommodate the new endeavor. When you are in a new marriage, the priorities and time needed to maintain the relationship is different than when you have years of trials and experiences with each other.  When you have a newborn, your life completely changes as well as with a new house. There are different priorities, concerns and demands. When your children are small and if they have a fever, an adult has to adjust their plans to take care of the child. When you are in a new job, you have to be able to be flexible to work longer hours and learn the system. When we are working with new and young relationships, our stress level is higher because the demands are heavier. As you get older, you have a skill set and experience of knowing what works well and what has not worked for you in the past.  But the person who is responsible to accommodate, adjust and change is you.

So can you do it all?…Yes, but not every day and not flawlessly. That is ok. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grow and develop and change. Get to know yourself. Some of the “everything” you are doing now may not be necessary or even what you really want in 5 years.

Get God involved. Ask others questions and do not be afraid to fail, lose or quit. Life brings changes. Give yourself the right to change, to explore new options and to relax. Do not be fearful of change.

You are worth it and if you cannot keep up, no one else around you will do as well. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of those things that are of valuable to you.